Grief and Love

Dear Reader,

Attending the launch of womb song by Esther Vincent stirred in me some thoughts that thick-skinned me had to voice though the session had timed-out.

Grief, grieving and overcoming grief, hurts and reconciliation came through Esther’s sharing of her poems and the writing. Moderator Ho Ren Chun paced the sharing and playlist sensitively. Certainly a mature man now, far from my memory of him as a young teen poet. He kindly allowed me to have the last word from the floor.

I shared that my father had died at the age of 52, when I was barely 21. It took me 20 years to get over the grieving process. When we love much, grief over a loss is so much harder to bear.

So I prepare myself, in a morbid way, for the day when my husband might go before me, by letting myself get angry with him now and then. And I told the audience that it is ok to quarrel with your spouse.

The caveat, which I did not have the presence of mind to add that evening: You may have been angry with your spouse, but do not let the sun set on your anger.

Wai Han, still in love, after 42 years